


Don't Threaten Me with a Good Time

by StarkTech19



Category: Teen Wolf (TV), The Originals (TV), The Vampire Diaries (TV)
Genre: BAMF Damon Salvatore, BAMF Jeremy Gilbert, BAMF Kol Mikaelson, BAMF Stiles, Character will not always be canon, Damon is my smol bean, Elena Gilbert Bashing, F/F, F/M, Hybrids, Kol Mikaelson Lives, Leaving Mystic Falls, M/M, Minor Scott McCall Bashing, Parent-Child Relationship, Protective Damon Salvatore, Protective Kol Mikaelson, Protective Stiles, Sorry Not Sorry
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-14
Updated: 2018-03-14
Packaged: 2019-03-31 07:19:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,832
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13970073
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarkTech19/pseuds/StarkTech19
Summary: The day he came, I had just finished getting dressed, when my husband brought a man of a little above 6 ft tall, shoulder length wavy brown hair, hazel brown eyes, and bow tie lips that twisted into a small mysterious smirk that spoke of both wonder and untold horror. He was dressed in all black, but could be seen wearing a sleeveless coat with a long sleeve leather surcoat and sowed hood on top, held together with large leather belt and leather pants underneath. He also seemed to be wearing knee high black leather boots. My husband had left under the pretense of having work to do, and that I’ll show the noblemen around. If I had to guess, I would say that this man practically oozed danger. However, me being the one to never back away from a challenge, stepped forward and introduced myself.





	Don't Threaten Me with a Good Time

**Author's Note:**

> Couldn't help, but try this one too! It has been blockin my creative juices for Welcome to Change for weeks now! Here it is! Enjoy!

**~Damiana’s POV~**

_Alright, alright_

_Alright, alright_

It’s been a week since “we” ‘killed’ Klaus Mikaelson. I don’t really believe it, since he is the sire of my many times great grandchildren, their bitch of a lover, and their other friends. I’m sorry. I forgot to introduce myself haven’t I? Let me tell you a little about lil’ old me.

_Alright, alright, it's a hell of a feeling though_

_It's a hell of a feeling though_

_Alright, alright, it's a hell of a feeling though_

_It's a hell of a feeling though_

            My name is Damiana Francesca Di Angelo-Salvatore. I know what you’re thinking already, “Oh god, not another Salvatore.” Well too fuckin’ bad bitch! If you know who my grandkids are, then you know that I’m a vampire as well. I have long curly black hair that reaches my waist, long full eyelashes that frame my crystal blue eyes, and pouty pink lips. I am only 6 foot tall, long thick legs, big hips, slim waist, large bust, and the perfect peach skin tone. I was born in a town and commune named Amalfi in the province of Salerno, in the region of Campania, Italy, on the Gulf of Salerno, during The High Middle Ages. I’ve lost count of exactly how old I am, but if I had to hazard a guess, I’m over 850 years old. I was turned just after my 19th birthday, the night of my son’s birth.

_Who are these people?_

_I just woke up in my underwear_

_No liquor left on the shelf_

_I should probably introduce myself_

**~Flashback 1158 AD~**

**_I had been wedded to Giovanni Salvatore for 3 years. He and I had been friends since I had learned to walk, even if he was 5 years my senior. I knew he was in love with another, but because of circumstances, his lover had passed when he turned 21, and I was newly turned 15. In order to preserve the Salvatore line, and marry into nobility, my father offered my hand when I was set to be 16 in the coming Summer Solstice._ **

**_We had stayed friends, though we did fuck a LOT! We had a good thing going. I didn’t care for his mistresses, and he didn’t care for mine. As long as we respected one another, it was all okay. However, when it was found out that I was pregnant the winter after my 18 th birthday. I was only 5 months, and because of the death rate back then, I was forced to rest constantly. Seeing as I had only been with women for the past year, I knew it was Giovanni’s, so he didn’t question it when I broke the news to him. _ **

**_I had only been resting in my minor throne on the dais in the town’s city council room, listening to the old fools bicker back and forth, when my husband whispered in my ear, mentioning that they were trying to sort out the arrival of a young lord named Kol Mikaelson, from France. When I heard this, I asked my husband to offer up our home, and that we could host for him during his stay. At first, he was hesitant, for I was pregnant, but when I began to poke my lip out, he caved._ **

**_Once it was agreed upon with the council, Giovanni had gotten our maids to begin setting up our guest room, which was coincidentally on the opposite wing of our home. It was also where we both usually took our mistresses. The room was put together to fit a noble of his stature. So when he arrived, he could rest like one of champions._ **

_You shoulda' seen what I wore_

_I had a cane and a party hat_

_I was the king of this hologram_

_Where there's no such thing as getting out of hand_

**_The day he came, I had just finished getting dressed, when my husband brought a man of a little above 6ft tall, shoulder length wavy brown hair, hazel brown eyes, and bow tie lips that twisted into a small mysterious smirk that spoke of both wonder and untold horror. He was dressed in all black, but could be seen wearing a sleeveless coat with a long sleeve leather surcoat and sowed hood on top, held together with large leather belt and leather pants underneath. He also seemed to be wearing knee high black leather boots. My husband had left under the pretense of having work to do, and that I’ll show the noblemen around. If I had to guess, I would say that this man practically oozed danger. However, me being the one to never back away from a challenge, stepped forward and introduced myself._ **

**_“Ciaoooo, mi chiamo Damiana Salvatore, è un piacere fare la tua conoscenza. Sono lieto che tu abbia accettato di restare a casa nostra. Spero che dopo la tua visita, trovi che è stato più soddisfacente.”[1] I purred as he took my hand in his big warm ones and kissed my knuckles. Staring me in the eyes as he did._ **

**_“Ciaoooo, mi chiamo Kol Mikaelson. E per favore tesoro, il piacere è tutto mio. Grazie per avermi offerto la tua casa. Ho intenzione di esaurire la tua offerta fino alla fine dei tempi. Spero che tu non sia troppo attaccato a questa vita, perché una volta che mi hai lasciato entrare, non me ne andrò mai. Lo sai bene, piccola strega?”[2] He said softly. His voice sounding like deep and sultry, making me smirk at the challenge he set before me._ **

**_“È così Lord Vampiro?”[3] I whispered as I leaned into his personal space._ **

**_“Hai assolutamente ragione la piccola strega.”[4]He taunted back._ **

**_“Sembra che ci divertiremo un sacco. Aspetta solo di mostrarti il modo giusto di giocare! Il piacere dopo sarà più euforico!”[5] I purred as I spun around, snatching his hand as I went, and brought him to the dungeons underneath my home, skipping as I went._ **

**_“oh caro, potrei semplicemente tenerti!”[6] He chuckled, as we descended into the darkness of the dungeons._ **

**~End of Flashback~**

Oh I’m sorry, did I forget to mention, that I was once a siphoner? I was born a siphoner, which is one of the main reasons Giovanni and I got on so well. He was a warlock and knew the trials a siphoner faced, and befriended me when he saw me siphon all the magic from a medallion my mother gave me to use in order to hide my heritage from the rest of their coven. He knew what I was, and took it into his hand to show me all the ways to get around it all, and showed our friendship proudly, so that if the others would notice that I was essentially not to be touched. So when we married, he found me object to use, so that I was able to wield magic in the case he wasn’t present.

This led to the predicament that was my rebirth. Kol had stayed with us throughout my entire pregnancy, catering to my cravings, feeding me his blood in the case that I had a miscarriage or died, and telling me tales of his life as a warlock back when he was human. Kol had confided in me of all the atrocities he had committed, even admitted that he used it as a coping mechanism for the loss of his magic. We had grown to be close friends. He even grew close with Giovanni once he found out how I had learnt everything I knew. We had become close as a whole, even going so far as to have threesomes, and those were always pleasurable times.

However, when it was time to give birth to my child, Giovanni had planned something that I could never imagine. Giovanni hadn’t wanted to leave me without magic to protect myself as a vampire, knowing that I would not make it through the birth without turning. At the time I hadn’t known I was a heretic, but what he had done next, essentially boosted my own reserves to that of a witch at full maturity. He had merged with me. I hadn’t known that was possible, for I was never told that that was possibility. Which in the end, made me Salvatore by blood, as well as securing my future as the mother of my son, Daimon Giovanni Salvatore.

After his birth I had become ridden with guilt for Giovanni’s sacrifice, and with the help of Kol, compelled the council that the Salvatore line was to move to Florentine commune, which later became Florence, Italy. Back then I couldn’t handle the memories spent in my home, and packed it all up, treasures, money, everything. And through it all, Kol stood by my side, going so far as to mentor me in the ways of being a vampire and a witch, now that I had my own magic.

He even helped raise my son, never letting it show that we weren’t aging, and teaching him magic as well. Before he was old enough to comprehend everything, I had learned a way to cover our appearance as though we aged like everyone else. So when he turned 39, we faked our deaths. We had pretended to be going back to Amalfi to visit my family, when we had crashed into a ravine on arrival, having others witness this to spread the word. They didn’t ever find our bodies, of course, but the devastation that crossed my son’s family faces, ultimately haunted me for months.

_Memories tend to just pop up_

_Drunk pre-meds and some rubber gloves_

_Five-thousand people with designer drugs_

_Don't think I'll ever get enough (don't think I'll ever get enough)_

Though it did help that the next two centuries spent by Kol’s side was quite therapeutic. We had gained titles for ourselves amongst the Supernatural world. We pillaged and slaughtered the rich, raised entire dynasties, turned a few people, and even fanned the flames that was the war between the werewolves and vampires that was sparked by his father. Though we always sought to teach brilliant little witches with potential. It was funny enough when we found out there was another breed of werewolves out there. Though they seemed to get the better stick in the draw of the two.

However, like all good things in the world, it came to an end. Earlier in the 1380’s we had been discovered by his siblings. They had been looking for him for the past few centuries, and when they found us the first time in Germany, we ran. Though it didn’t take long for them to find us again.

**~Flashback 1388~**

_Champagne, cocaine, gasoline_

_And most things in between_

_I roam the city in a shopping cart_

_A pack of camels and a smoke alarm_

_This night is heating up_

_Raise hell and turn it up_

_Saying "If you go out you might pass out in a drain pipe"_

_Oh yeah, don't threaten me with a good time_

**_It was in a small town in China, don’t really remember the name. It was one of our most delirious bloodbaths yet, even turned a mother daughter duo who were both afraid to die. We had been bathing in blood for hours, rolling around in the sheets, having the time of our lives, when there was a thud. The thud had only happened, when the door to the bedroom burst inwards, with wood flying everywhere._ **

**_The door to our room had been kicked in, and in walked a fairly tall man with blonde curls to his shoulders, sky blue eyes, and had the same lips as Kol, twisted in the same smirk. I didn’t much attention to his clothes, for I had been pushed into the bed by Kol. His face showed absolute fear for what would happen next, for he knew that his brother was here to dagger him. Fortunately, I still wore the glamour occasionally to escape suspicion, which worked in his favor for what he was about to do next. Since learning more about magic as a whole, and being a vampire that could manipulate the mind, I was able to establish a mind link between us, as well as our soul. That was just for precautionary reasons like right now. Though the mind link did allow us to speak to one another in our mind._ **

**_ “Do not say a word. You know what you must do. I’m going to snap your neck as soon as he starts to talk. He is going to dagger me darling, and I can’t have him knowing of your supernatural side. I know these last 2 centuries went by fast, and I know I’m leaving you behind, but know that I’m letting him do this to protect you. I love you Damiana Salvatore. Don’t you forget that, okay? We are linked as one. You are the best’ friend a dashing man like me can have. Just remember, as long as you live on, I’ll be right there. I will still be able to experience it all with you, just not WITH you. Have fun Dami. The ride has just begun.”  _ ** **_His voice echoed within my own mind. Gentle and caring like always, I felt his love for me, his protectiveness for me, his fear for me, and his hope for me to live. It all embraced me as he threw me a broken smirk._ **

**_ “I love you too Kol! Fuck their Always and Forever Bullshit! We will forever protect our Love and Loyalty for each other, after death and to the other side! You hear me?!”  _ ** **_I whispered back to him mentally, giving him a broken watery smile._ **

**_ “Love and Loyalty huh? I’ll take that challenge. Goodbye, la mia piccola Strega.”  _ ** **_He whispered._ **

**_ “Goodbye Lord Vampiro”  _ ** **_I whispered back._ **

**_“Hello little brother. I think it is about time we have a talk.” His brother taunted._ **

**_He brushed his thumb over my lips and tears, then looked me in the eyes. He threw me one last broken smirk, before all I knew was darkness._ **

**~End of Flashback~**

_It's a hell of a feeling though_

_It's a hell of a feeling though_

_Alright, alright_

_It's a hell of a feeling though_

_It's a hell of a feeling though_

When I woke up a few hours later, Kol was gone, and I think that was what hurt most. Since then I had did exactly what Kol had wanted me to do. I created a name for myself. I was known as the Goddess of Chaos. They told stories of me. I was hated by werewolves, envied by vampires, and admired by witches. I was Eris to the Supernatural, and no one had the balls to step to me.

However, I did settle down for a while, when I found out that my descendants were planning on moving to the States in the next 7 years. Since magic had seemed to skip my oldest descendant, I compelled him to allow me to come as his younger sister. I made the paperwork possible and fully integrated myself back into the Salvatore family, including adding the glamour to help pass on my age for later years.

At first, I was disgusted by oldest and regretted even coming back, that is, until his first child was born. I had been with them for a year at most when Lillian gave birth to the most adorable child that has walked the planet. I know my own son was just handsome when he grew up, but when he was a baby? Nope, not even going to go there. Though, to make a long story short. I am the reason this child is the way he is. His mother was a disgusting wench, though I kept it to myself. Which left me to raise the boy. I named him after myself, after getting the okay from his father, even though I could’ve just compelled him.

I named him Damon Francesco Salvatore. See the resemblance. He looked more like me than that of either of his parents. It was like a sign for the spirits to keep him from harm, and to raise him as my own. And that is what I did. As he grew up, I taught him as much as I could, very aware that his father was an abusive asshole. It was how I found out he was abusive that made me want to protect my little raven more. I had found Damon hiding in a tree, holding his arm, trying to hold in what I could hear to be whimpers. He knew I was different. He knew I could do the impossible, but that didn’t frighten him away. He actually admired my uniqueness. It was why I knew he was hiding something when I found him trying to quiet himself.

I hadn’t been home in 2 months, so when I came back early to find my little raven covered in bruises, that I almost killed my descendant. As soon as he saw me turn to stomp back to the house, he shouted my name and called for me to stop. I hadn’t been paying attention, so when he yelled for me to stop, a force so strong, hit me head on and flung me to the base of the tree he was in, sucking away all the magic in my body until I was light headed. I was so stunned that all my anger had quickly melted away, only to be replace with absolute joy as I stood up looked at him with a brilliant smile. He at first thought he was in trouble, but when he saw my smile, he knew he was alright.

It was then that I found out that my little raven was a siphoner! I had thought it impossible at first, but the proof was right there. I told him to hold my hand and imagine pulling on a string connected to my hand, and slowly but surely, he began to siphon my body’s natural magical properties. I was so elated that I wiped away the most recent beating Damon received, so that he wasn’t questioned when he came back with no bruises. And since then, Damon was my little apprentice.

I told him of my journey from childhood to now, never leaving a part out. He was enthralled by Kol, from the stories I told. He even said he wanted to be just like him. I could feel Kol’s smug smirk from here because of that statement. He even convinced me to teach me as my former husband once taught me. I went as far as to create objects for him to wield that had magic in them. He flourished under the craft, always trying to learn and create new things. It was the happiest moments I treasured from my little raven.

It was when we moved to Mystic Falls, Virginia that things seemed to change. The people were more conservative, and didn’t appreciate that I was so gentle with their slaves. They thought that I was going to steal them. Though, not gonna lie that did cross my mind. I had to settle more and more things after the birth of my newest descendant, Stefan Salvatore and Lillian’s death. I had reaffirm my position on the vampiric food chain various times. That was fun too.

Though I did regret not being there for my little raven during those times. I made up for that by bringing him new grimoires to read, objects to use, and teaching him how to defend himself against other vampires. It was when he was older and sent to join the confederates, that I finally lost my shit. Against my protest’ Giuseppe sent Damon to join the war, without a second thought. Though I knew he would be okay, after all the training I made him endure. That didn’t stop me from following and watching over him. After a few years, I decided to go check on a few of my witches, to see if what was done to me, could happen to Damon, because, you better best believe Damon was coming with me after this shit was over.

_What are these footprints?_

_They don't look very human like_

_Now I wish that I could find my clothes_

_Bedsheets and a morning rose_

However, had I known the little wisp of a girl, Katherine Pierce aka Katerina Petrova, was going to destroy my little raven’s heart, I would’ve killed her from the moment I read the last letter Damon ever sent me. I hadn’t known she had switched her name, so it surprised me greatly, when I returned to Mystic Falls, to the place in ruins and my little raven sitting by The Falls crying his heart out.

I hadn’t known what had happened to my baby yet, so I just embraced him as one would do a child, and held him as close as I could. Sobs wracked his body as he told me what had happened. How Katherine tricked him into loving her, how she turned Stefan against him, how Giuseppe shot them both for trying to save them, how Stefan killed their father, then forced him to turn as well, and how he thought that I wouldn’t come back. He told me his hopes and dreams, his fears and nightmares, the pain he feels at Stefan’s betrayal, and the honest to god hope that I would stay by his side. As I embraced who I considered my son, I promised hell upon the ones who have wronged my son.

_I wanna wake up_

_Can't even tell if this is a dream_

_How did we end up in my neighbors pool_

_Upside down with a perfect view?_

Fast forward a few decades and now Damon and I are practically joined at the hip. Since he turned, I have deemed him ready to learn what it means to be a heretic, for he could now draw on the magic of his vampire side. He wasn’t as powerful as me, but what he lacked in strength, he made up for in finesse. He was a little prodigy, and he damn well knew it. We even built him his own name in the Supernatural world. He was known as the Prince of Darkness, for he loved all things dangerous, though he did stay far away from black magic. Damon had his own following of witches, though the Bennett line were assholes. He knew of every supernatural creature as I had taught him to spot it before it did him. Though he did begin to adopt characteristics more level with Kol than I. Like he promised, he raised hell on those he chose, those he challenged, and those that deserved it. He was just as calculative and smart as Kol was, though he loved to mislead others into believing otherwise.

We had our ups and downs, and there were moments when I thought I would have to destroy a how town for him, but I the end, we made it here. We originally came to Mystic Falls to both reveal that Katherine wasn’t in the tomb, and retrieve the Bennett Grimoire, though that did go to shit once we found out Stefan was there.

I don’t know what happened to my bloodline, but I think the only ones deserving of this line has all passed 2 centuries ago. Stefan Salvatore made me want to disown him. I let him into my home, as well as Zach Salvatore, but as soon as they get a whiff of death, they thought it was okay to attempt to lock Damon and me up. Stefan doesn’t know how old I am. I never put time into raising him, for he was a spoilt daddy’s boy. Damon tried to raise him as I had him, but it was remotely impossible. We don’t claim him.

Then this doppelbitch waltz’ into MY home and demands me to stop being petty and childish, and to stop trying to force him to drink human blood. She was lucky Damon held me back before I could rip out her spine.

_Bar to bar at the speed of sound_

_Fancy feet dancing through this town_

_Lost my mind in a wedding gown_

_Don't think I'll ever get it now_

_(Don't think I'll ever get it now)_

While Damon fell victim to her feminine wiles, I decided to distance myself from the town as a whole. I still spoke to Damon almost daily, but I had wanted to stay out of their drama, so I travel for a bit.

That was, until Damon called and told me about the Originals being undaggered. After 4 months of silence, Damon finally cracked and told me all that occurred since I had last spoke to him. And while spilling his guts, he told me that he had casted a golem of Kol and transferred information from the real Kol into it, so he could pass off as the real deal. That since awakening, he has kept Kol hidden in the doppelbitch’s lake cabin, having compelled her to let him in and not to remember, just like I taught him to.

That call made me book it straight to Mystic Falls, Virginia. As soon as I made it there, I compelled my way into the cabin and made her forget. I made my way to the cabin and as soon as I opened the door, I was tackled by an over excited Damon. He had begun to babble like he did back in his teens and tell me how cool Kol is in real life, how Kol should have been his sire, and how Kol was teaching him all sorts of neat new tricks with both magic and vampirism.

_Champagne, cocaine, gasoline_

_And most things in between_

_I roam the city in a shopping cart_

_A pack of camels and a smoke alarm_

_This night is heating up_

_Raise hell and turn it up_

_Saying "If you go out you might pass out in a drain pipe"_

_Oh yeah, don't threaten me with a good time_

As he had told me this, all I could do was hold him and grin at Kol, who was smirking back at me. Since then it’s been us three. I made sure to make a golem of Damon and Jeremy Gilbert, who I learned has been staying with them, and split from Mystic Falls. Since then we’ve been traveling any and everywhere, occasionally looking into the golems, and teaching Jeremy both academically and life wise.

_I'm a scholar and a gentleman_

_And I usually don't fall when I try to stand_

_I lost a bet to a guy in a Chiffon skirt_

_But I make these high heels work_

_I've told you time and time again_

_I'm not as think as you drunk I am_

_And we all fell down when the sun came up_

_I think we've had enough_

That brings me back to here. So recently Kol’s mother, Esther aka The Original Witch Bitch of the East, tried to link her children together, and have them al subsequently killed, with the help of the doppelbitch and the Bennett bloodline. In an effort to save at least Damon from their ignorance, because I knew what she was trying to do, I tried to see if I could unlink Damon from Klaus’ line. So far, it has been a bust, but I have found a spell at least that shields him from all of it. So it’s still a win-win.

_Alright, alright, it's a hell of a feeling though_

_It's a hell of a feeling though_

_Alright, alright, it's a hell of a feeling though_

_It's a hell of a feeling though_

Right now were driving down the interstate to meet up with an old friend of mines. He was currently a Vet I believe. He had asked if I could come down. He said some things that are usually in my field has been happening in his town, and he knows he’s not enough to stop it. Plus, he has some kids there that he looks after that he would like to protect from it as best as possible. I told him all had to do was ask, and I was there. So, deciding to cut our break off for now, we’re now all sitting in Damon’s baby blue Camaro, driving past the sign of the town where a new adventure lurks.

 ** _“Maybe I can actually kill someone this time_**.”

_Champagne, cocaine, gasoline_

_And most things in between_

_I roam the city in a shopping cart_

_A pack of camels and a smoke alarm_

_This night is heating up_

_Raise hell and turn it up_

_Saying "If you go out you might pass out in a drain pipe"_

_Oh yeah, don't threaten me with a good time!_

**Welcome to Beacon Hills, California!**

**Author's Note:**

> [1]Ciaoooo, my name is Damiana, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I am delighted that you agreed to stay in our home. I hope that after your visit, that you find it was most satisfiable.  
> [2] Ciaoooo, my name is Kol Mikaelson. And please darling, the pleasure is all mine. Thank you for offering me your home. I plan to exhaust your offer until the end of time. Hope you're not too attached to this life, for once you let me in, I am never going to leave. You do know that right, little witch?  
> [3] Is that so Lord Vampire?  
> [4] You're absolutely right little witch.  
> [5] It seems that we're going to have a lots of fun. Just wait until I show you the proper way to play games! The pleasure after will be most euphoric!  
> [6] oh dear, I may just have to keep you!  
> You can guess the others...  
> Drop a Comment!!! Tell me what you think! Speak!!


End file.
